Today’s Topic: The after affects of SIDS
Last week blogs were dedicated to my daughter ReShande-ReShe who I lost to SIDS at the age of ten months. Losing my daughter that way led to a lot of sleepless nights. I had three more children after she passed and two of them suffer from asthma. Over the last 21 years since she has been gone I remember going in my children’s room placing my head on their chest, putting my hand on them just checking to make sure they were breathing. I would be sitting another room while they were sleep and would call their name just to hear their voice. My children are now 15, 16 and 20 and I still will have conversations with them when they are sleep. Even though I know they are well past the age of SIDS, I will probably will have them talk to me throughout the rest of my life. It gives me a sense of peace and helps me be ok. The process to where I am today has been a daily work in progress. They say time heals all pain I beg to differ. Time teaches you how to live with the pain, understand the pain, allow the pain not to take over your life. As long as I live I will miss and have unanswered questions regarding my daughter. I don’t care if I have 1,000 children it will never take away the pain I feel for my daughter that met such an untimely death to something that 21 years later still can’t be explained. As I have forgave, healed, and grew spiritually and mentally I can say that I don’t have as many bad days as I did when she first passed away. My life was forever changed the day my daughter passed away. I was angry at God first, then I was lost and confused, overwhelmed, hurt, scared but God. He continued to keep me, giving me the will to live and love. He blessed me with three beautiful children that are very talented. My son who plays the clarinet, and steel pan drums, daughter who has been in the National Honor Society since the 4th grade and dances on a competitive dance team, and my youngest daughter is a Couture Fashion Designer designing since the age of 6 and in business since the age of 8. So with everyday that I live I am so grateful that God has kept me and I have been able to move forward to better days. I look forward to living out the rest of my days in happiness and peace knowing that I will be with my daughter again one day but until then I have a purpose on this earth and I plan on fulfilling it. I will not stop until the vision that God placed on me comes to pass. REST WITH GOD RESHANDE-RESHE mommy loves you and will see you again!
Many Blessings & Much Love