Posted By on June 7, 2016 in Women's Empowerment | 0 comments


Good Morning,

Today’s Topic: SIDS

Definition – Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is the unexplained death, usually during sleep, of a seemingly healthy baby less than a year old. SIDS is sometimes known as crib death because the infants often die in their cribs. (google)


Well, this isn’t my story. I don’t have the typical SIDS case. I am going to share my personal experience with this type of death and how God kept me once again. It’s August 1, 1995 an I’m celebrating my birthday, enjoying living through another year of trials and tribulations. I’m in a new relationship and things are going pretty good. Being in a committed relationship we had been discussing our future and future children and decide we don’t want anymore children right away my baby was going on 10 months and he had two older children. I was a new mom, he was recently retired from the Marines and we wanted to wait a while but since we had been having unprotected sex we decided that we needed to incorporate some form of birth control. I decided to I was going to get on depo provera and schedule the appointment for the week of my birthday. I have my birthday and everything was great, I go to my appointment to get on the shot and of course they take a pregnancy test prior to  giving you the shot and surprise I was pregnant already which meant no shot for us and the family was going to grow anyway. So in the following days we are discussing what should we do. He really didn’t want anymore children at the time, I don’t believe in abortion so the conversation was ongoing about what to do. At this point we haven’t shared the news with anyone because we didn’t know which way we were going to go. It is now August 13th and I am preparing to go to the movies with a few ladies and he was going to babysit while I was out. While waiting on the ladies to get ready, it took so long we were going to miss the movie and they decided they just wanted to go hang out and have a few drinks I didn’t want to do that so they dropped me back off at the apartment. Since we weren’t going to the movies anymore I went to go get my daughter the two of them had gone to his mother’s apartment to watch the basketball game but when I got down there they weren’t home. The neighbor told me that he left with the baby saying they were going for a walk and I asked her to have him call me when he got back and I walked back home. No sooner than I returned home and got comfortable he called and said they were back. I spoke with her on the phone and he told me they would be home after the basketball game. I told him see you guys soon and I laid down. I’m not even sure how long I was sleep when the phone rang. I answer it and it’s him telling me to get dressed and come to his mom’s house. He didn’t tell me anything else, I wasn’t sure what was going on. I thought maybe something was going on with him, he had to go somewhere never in my wildest dreams did I think anything was wrong with my baby. So I get dressed and start walking down to the apartment. When I got to the top of the hill I could see the ambulance in front of the building and I instantly knew it was her and I began to run to the apartment. As soon as I got to the third floor they had my baby on the floor in front of the door performing CPR. We leave and go to the hospital, they put us in this little private waiting room to wait. I called my mother, and cousin. It’s now my mother, dad, uncle, cousin, him and I in the room waiting for someone to come tell us what’s going on. While sitting in the room waiting my dad and uncle called him out of the room, next thing I know I hear tussling these two tried to jump on him in the next room acusing him of doing something to my baby. All I could do was cry like are you really doing this and I don’t know what’s going on with my baby. This isn’t the time or place for you to be acting like this. He gets away from them and comes back in the room with me. I don’t know how long we sat there but when they finally came in the room all I remember them telling me is that she was gone and do I want to hold her one more time. I lost it. I began screaming and crying while I was waiting for them to bring her to me. I was flipping out so much they had to give me a shot to calm me down before they could bring my baby to me. After they gave me the shot all I remember was him shouting what did they give her she’s pregnant; bombshell that’s how everyone found out we were expecting again. Finally, they bring my baby in for me to hold I don’t know how long I sat there looking, rubbing, rocking, holding my baby before they came and took her again. And she was gone! I instantly became numb and I’m sure there are things that were said and done that I still don’t remember but I know he and I went home and all I could do was cry. We talked and he told me what happened. He was sitting watching the basketball game while she on the couch not even three feet from him, she was laying on her back drinking her bottle on her way to sleep but not sleep yet. She was playing with her milk like she would do all the time and she began to gurgle he says he turned around and seen her body go stiff and he went to her and began CPR. He called 911 before calling me but as we all know her heart never started again. So it really bothers me when I hear people talk about how SIDS happen. I truly believe if the baby passes from SIDS there is nothing we can do to prevent it until they can figure out why their brain don’t send the signal for them to take the next breath. My baby “ReShande-ReShe” (pronounced RayShanday-RayShay) wasn’t home, wasn’t in a crib, wasn’t on her stomach, and she wasn’t sleep but when her autopsy was completed SIDS was the cause of death. I will be dedicating this weeks blogs to my daughter so please come back be inspired, encouraged and uplifted.


Many Blessings & Much Love




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