Today’s Topic: Family – what does that word mean to me……
Definition: n. a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household. All the descendants of a common ancestor.
For me family is what is made. I didn’t grow up with my parents and siblings so I didn’t have the same sense of family as the next person. Growing up as a ward of the state I learned early on that just because you share a bloodline don’t make you family. It makes you related but not necessarily family. As a child I expected so much more from my “family” just because they were “family” but it wasn’t the case. People are pre-consumed with living their lives that sometimes the “family thing just doesn’t happen. Although I love my family because I am suppose to but I can truly say that I grew up with a false sense of family. As I grew up and traveled here and there lived with this person and that person I learned that family is what you make it. I can honestly say that I consider my sisters, brother, aunts, uncles, moms that I inherited over the years are more family that the ones I share a bloodline with. It is sad sometimes but I praise God that he has placed some great people in my life. My bond with my mum is indescribable I haven’t had her in my day to day life since I was about 5-6 years old and we went about 10 years without speaking or seeing each other but when we reconnected it was like we were never separated. I know this woman loves me and my children unconditionally and if there is anything in her power she is there for me and I wouldn’t trade her in for anything. My spiritual mom well I just can’t say enough about her. She just gets it she gets me. It’s amazing how God brings people into your life exactly when you need them. We came together through our passion for fashion and we just connected on a spiritual level. She provides so much for my soul and continues to love, support and help me grow in my spiritual walk without judgement or conviction that I can’t even put into words how much she means to me. Ms. Bev wow! there are no words to express what this role this woman played in not only my life but my children. She stepped up and became that grandmother to my children that wasn’t there. No matter what was going on she was always involved hospital, birthday, graduation, Christmas, events, awards everything if she couldn’t be there physically she would make sure to have us come over and would have something special for us. My siblings although we don’t get to see and speak to each other as much anymore I have a bond with each and everyone of them that I don’t know if I would have been able to value had I come up differently. Once I was able to look at people as people and judge the relationship I was able to remove the labels and expectations. Just as I have stated in previous post just because you have a title don’t mean you are equipped for the position. I have taken this concept to the next level by becoming an example of the things I didn’t receive growing up. I go out my way to be a friend, mentor, mom, aunt, and grandma to those that come across my path. I believe that I can be that person in the next person’s life just maybe they will begin to heal and grow and can see that there are people out here that genuinely want to see them become all that God has for them to be. I walked around for so long lost and just existing because I was so hurt, and I felt as though no one loved or wanted me around that I wasn’t loving myself and when I began to have children I knew I didn’t want that life for them so I decided that I had to change in order to provide more and better for them. I wasn’t always sure what that more or better was but I knew I had to get to a space of peace with my past in order to provide more and better for them. Once I was able to get to the place of peace in my life I was able to raise my children in a house where we loved on each other and I explained to them that it is good to know who shares your bloodline but just because you share a bloodline don’t make them family. I taught my children how to judge the relationship and not the title. I love my family unconditionally because that is how God created me but I know there are a lot of my family members that aren’t where I am spiritually and can’t receive or give what I am looking for so I had to learn how to love them from a distance. I can’t make anyone do or be who I want them to be but I can do my part. I had to come to a point in my spiritual walk where I really started living the saying people come in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Everyone that comes in your life bloodline or not for one of these reason. The sooner you receive this to be a fact the sooner you will stop trying to force things that aren’t meant to be more that what it has presented itself to be. People are vessels and God will use them in your life for various reason and sometimes the purpose isn’t for you sometimes it’s for them to get something. We have to learn how to take everything to God and ask for guidance and direction. I know this can be a hard thing to do because of the way some of us are raised but at the end of the day I know for me when you know better you do better.
Many Blessings & Much Love